bedirty4meplz

why cant confusion just leave me alone?

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:47:46 GMT

well theres bob and i kinda like him but we are growing farther apart and then theres eddie but ill never get him back and theres the new boy but he likes trista and i just hate emotions and guys cuz they make me think and confused and be in a bad mood and make me wanna just stop leaving my house and stop trying to meet new guys because theyll just confuse me or fuck me over but if i stayed home id think more and get more depressed and confused and theres just no ending to it and no way to resolve it so ill just smoke cigerretes till i die!! LEAVE ME ALONE CONFUSION LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!!

what the hell!!

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:09:40 GMT

well its been awhile since i wrote in this and a lot has happened and too much to explain but my point of view on life has changed totally. i look at it as if i dont need to try because if ppl are gunna like me or be my friend i just have to be my friend and im over trying. ppl can call me im done calling certain ppl. Theres a few boys in my life and i dont care if i get looked at as a slut bcuz what im doing isnt wrong its just im trying to find one certain one that will be everything i want and need in life and im young and im just livin life how i want to. no one can tell me different and no one can change how i feel. i might let people down and hurt their feelings but who i am is who i am and how i feel is how i feel. i dont give mixed feelings but some people take it like that and i dont care cuz its them not me im not trying to do it. so my life is my life no one elses

and life goes on...

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:30:03 GMT

well yah today is confusing shits going on in my life but i dont know how to feel about it!! should i be mad that the people who i think are friends r talking shit behind my back and talling my business out should i be confused that i cant make up my mind of what i want in life should i be happy that 2 great guys want me should i be excited that i get to hangout with one of them today should i be grateful for knowing what i have is anything i could ever want??? either way how i should feel i like the way i feel right now!!

<3amber

tee hee crush

Wed, 03 May 2006 06:41:52 GMT

yah well this weekend i realized i got a new crush and i bet no one would be able to guess except the ppl that i already told well its dalton D-town yah i kno its wierd but he is extremely hott but i dont really usually go for hott guys but he is also really cool he keeps me interested and shit so yah imma go for it but imma also go for this kid chris cuz hes hott too and i already kno that he thinks im cute atleast and that i am cool so thats a plus so yah im thinkin about becomin a playa but not too much of one so i become a slut but imma fimd the guy i want so i need to test them out and if i hook up with different guys then i wont get attached but im not gunna go from like guy to guy im just gunna talk to them and see which one will go for me and shit and see if they want me if they want me then ill give them a chance
i think that would go good because i could not get attached to one person when they dont want me but i just wouldnt want anyone to get hurt or anything in the process its like imma take them for a test drive and figure out which one i want it kinda sounds like im buying a car tee hee hee well yah thats wut imma do!

<3amber

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 06:53:03 GMT

yah well im really confused cuz bryanyt told me he likes me again which isnt bad but iono wut to do cuz i do have a lil feelings for him but thats bcuz hes my ex and it would be really wierd if i went back out with him and i kinda like shrek but not that much as i thought i did i ono its really confusing and i dont wanna hook up with shrek in front of him cuz it would be fucked up so i just dont kno wut do to do my lifes good but confusing now a days wtf should i do? should i give bryant another chance or should i just leave it alone to see if he will get over me iono

<3amber

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 06:38:42 GMT

well my mind has been set on things today
well i like cameron and shit but i have to hide it cuz imma get hated on and i hate that shit cuz i should be able to like who i want but i really dont wanna hear the lectures cuz it makes me sad and what else makes me sad is that faze keeps coming back into my life some how either i see him or look at his myspace or people talk about him and it make me remember all the times i had with him and the love i had for him i hate this shit i got hurt so bad and it still doesnt keep me from having feelings for him everyone looks at me as this really happy person and that i cant be sad but i really am inside and i cover it i try and run away from them i shouldnt i know it will catch up and it is already i will never be able to get away from them untill i deal with them but its really hard i dont know how to deal with them
im afraid!i think that if everyone knew then all they would wanna do is get into my business and shit and its mine and i have to deal with them myself i cant have anyone do it for me i wanna find a good guy to treat me right and give me wut i deserve but wut if i dont deserve a good guy wut if i deserve an asshole emoness isnt shown in me but i guess i could be called it
well imma go on with my night!

<3amber

life sux....

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 10:03:24 GMT

hey hey hey
my birthday is in 3 days on thursday...
i have no plans...
i have no life...
i have no bf....
i only want one...
im treated like shit...
i like a guy....
its amazing....
he has to big of a life....
i dont get wut i want...
i would never wanna be spoiled...
i have a best friend.....
i love her with all my heart

yay

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 23:22:30 GMT

yay!! im so happy today!! iono y im just in a good mood!! well iono wut im doing today but it better be fun!!! yah i ate mcdonalds finally!! not with jeremy or kenny either!!:( hah i dont care!! haha
well yah todays monday and im not gunna cry!!
wow!!:)

<3Amber

dont leave me

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 07:56:40 GMT

hey have u ever felt like there was nothing to live for and u shouldnt b able to touch ur feet outside ever again because some one broke ur heart?!?yah well thats how i feel right now.. i feel like i should lock myself up untill everyone forgets about me and die!! i hate guys that break my heart and dont even care and just leave me to rott!!

well why dont i just drink my problems away a lil more.....

outside i look happy inside i feel like shit...

if u love me plz dont ever leave me....
i dont wanna die alone!!!

why wait?!?

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 18:59:15 GMT

hello beautifuls... if the blade goes to deep why cut?!?? if it hurts why do it?!? if u have a dick why not have it sucked?!? i hate those guys u kno... the ones that make me cry... the ones that make me wonder... the ones that make me hide down under... that kiss me then leave... they leave me to rott... they leave me to be alone and wondering why... the guys that make me fall in love.... turns out they never cared... the ones that act like they'll be there... yea do u kno those guys?!?... the ones that kill u inside... the ones that make u hide... the ones that make u bleed... the ones that make u frown... the ones that make u down... the that leaves u for ur friends... the ones ur love never ends. yah i hate that!!! well yah this is the first journal and im amber... and thats all folks.. <3 _Amber